Sigh.

I find myself in the midst of an existential crisis. There are many reasons for this; all of them professional.

1. I was laid off from a pretty good gig last summer. Not because of bad performance; because the office closed.
2. I'm not particularly thrilled with my current job--which was supposed to be a temporary fix to pay the bills until I found something better.
3. It's been 8 months and I haven't yet found something better.
4. I was passed over for a new job by someone who had more experience.
5. I'm overqualified for yet another new job that would like to reduce my salary by about 30%.

What the hell?

I mean, I understand we're in an economic crisis, but seriously? I'm well-educated. I'm personable. I'm smart. I'm a quick learner. I'm responsible. I'm generally pleasant to be around. Why am I having such a hard time finding something that's worth my time? Is that so much to ask?

In all honesty, all I want is a position that's worth it. As Americans, we spend more time with our job than we generally do with our spouse. And so, if I'm going to be spending a significant portion of my life somewhere, I'd like to find a place that's fulfilling or inspiring or... better than what I'm doing now, which is merely existing. But I don't want to do that. I want to thrive. Maybe that's just not how American employment works.

Still, I can't help but wonder if the American rat race is responsible for everything bad in the world. I'm not just being dramatic. Allow me to explain:

1. People feel entitled when they come home because they've just spent 8-10 hours at a job they hate. They don't want to be bothered with volunteering, or donating, or recycling, or caring for anyone outside of their family--so they get sucked into tabloids, and reality TV, and Fox News instead.
2. They develop cancer because their cantankerous work environments are literally toxic. There's never enough time to relax or take time away or exercise or take care of themselves because companies are laying off people left and right in order to stay competitive.
3. People get bored and so they do stupid things like flirt and/or have inappropriate relationships.
4. They get bitter and complain, which in turn, makes their friends and family bitter, too.
5. People don't spend enough time with their kids. Then their kids get it in their heads that it's OK to spend more time at work than with their families, and they perpetuate the unhealthy cycle.

OK. So maybe nobody is out starting a war because they're pissed off at their employer. But they've become apathetic to the wars and injustices that are currently taking place. Which, in my opinion, is almost worse. And another shade of the same thing.

It's so rare that I come across people who are actually excited and passionate about what they're doing--or feel that they're making a difference or contributing to the greater good. It makes me wonder if our forefathers came up against the same kind of opposition when they were trying to organize a revolt against European rule in search of a better life... Actually, probably not. Opposition means that someone actually needs to form an opinion and take a stand against something.

A more perfect union.

I wonder what they'd think if they saw us now.