A bad decision

Remember that episode of The Office when Jim decides he wants to ride his bike to work and he shows up, sweaty, tired, and disgusting? Or maybe you'll better remember the office 5K when everybody runs in order to find a cure for Rabies? You know, when Kevin forgets his running clothes, Michael almost passes out, and Andy's nipples start bleeding?

Well, bring to your mind the image of a sweaty office worker.

And then, picture my face.

For some ungodly reason, I decided it would be fun to go for a 3 mile run at lunch today. It's actually not a bad idea in theory. The weather's beautiful; I'm training for a marathon; I'm not doing much at work because my boss is on vacation. Etc.

These are all valid reasons why an extra long lunch was a good idea.

But the aftermath of a 3 mile run in 80 degree weather is a messy affair. And when you discover that the office "shower" your HR person told you about is nothing but a janky, scary, dirty dorm shower at best, you come to immediately regret your decision. As well as curse the name of the HR person who seems to have deliberately led you astray.

(Upon showing me the ladies room on my first day:
"Oh, so do a lot of people shower here?" I ask.
"Yes, actually. There's a group of ladies who walks twice a week. And they use the facilities after their exercise. It's fairly common," he lied.
I've come to find out that no one actually does this. In fact, there isn't even a walking club.
Awesome.)

"So Jessie--what did you do?" you ask.

I sat at my desk until my heart stopped pounding and my body stopped pouring buckets of sweat out of every orifice. I tried to think cool thoughts and drank an impossible amount of water. And, after about an hour, I changed back into my office clothes. My hair is a greasy, greasy mop.

What. a. day.