My New Goal in Life:

Stay-at-home Motherhood.

I'm not lying.

Don't get me wrong. Office work is fine. And I know that being a stay-at-home mom is extremely difficult; and you begin to miss adult conversation; and you sometimes question what it is you're doing with your life; and your self-esteem can sometimes plummet; and you begin to wonder if you'd ever be able to get back into the working world because life seems to be passing you by...

But here's my conundrum: I spend most of my time at the office feeling inadequate; questioning my self-esteem; wondering if this job will be eliminated with the corporate downsizing that seems to have taken America by storm; stressing out because I've potentially done something wrong; etc.

Given that I'm anxious and worried at the office anyway, I think I'd rather be anxious and worried at home. It's just that simple.

This will not be happening any time soon, considering I'm our family's sole source of income. But this whole "working" thing... I just don't know if I'm cut out for it. I'm really good at hanging out. Like really good. And I'm good at playing with babies. And doing errands. And paying bills. And drinking coffee. And exercising. And the things I'm not good at--cooking, laundry, cleaning--I feel I can learn how to do them better. Especially if I'm trying to be better for my family.

Trying to be better for my family... Is there anything more noble?

My mission is clear:

1. Help Chris finish his PhD
2. Get pregnant
3. Go on maternity leave
4. Never come back

Potential timeline for new life goal:

1. PhD = December 2010
2. Pregnancy = January 2011
3. Maternity leave = July 2011

That means I have 3 more years in the office.

3 more years.

Dammit.